Duck Jokes

There are not many things that will cause me to get out of bed on a Saturday morning in January and drive out into the barren tundra of rural Nebraska. But it looks like “duck race” can now be added to the list.

I found out on Friday night that a friend of mine who likes to dabble in animal husbandry had raised some ducks and was going to compete in the Avoca Quack-Off. The Quack-Off takes place in Avoca, Nebraska each year, and supposedly draws about 1000 people. With 86 preliminary heats of up to 4 ducks, there had to have been well over 300 ducks present as well. To put some perspective on those numbers, the town’s population is only about 250.

The proceeds from the event went to the local volunteer fire department, but I'm sure the real profiteer was the local bar, which was absolutely packed all day. There’s no place to buy off-sale liquor in town, but enough people brought their own that by mid-afternoon the whole town was littered with beer cans.

I should probably qualify that this was a duck foot race. The ducks were disqualified if they took flight (which I saw happen once) and there was not enough water on the course for them to swim. Personally, if I were designing a duck race course, I would exploit the creatures' natural talents in a water-air-ground triathlon of sorts. Maybe a steeplechase. But, apparently Avoca does not share my dreams. My dreams might also involve training ducks to ride cute little bicycles, so this is not really surprising.

I was hoping to live-tweet the event, but as usual, AT&T’s coverage failed me. In lieu of that, here are several points that surprised me about the Quack-Off:

1. The standard for clever duck names was quite high. I wish I had been able to secure a list of all the entries. Without one, I can only remember a few names, and they’re really not worth posting.
2. There was apparently no censorship for duck names. The race announcer would apparently read any text put in front of her, Ron-Burgundy-style. People took advantage of this and gave their ducks names like “Clusterduck.”
3. There were at least 6 buses parked in town. Who takes a party bus to a duck race? The answer is, of course:
4. College kids. The mean age must have been in the 20s. Probably the closest I've ever been to a Spring Break event.

I did manage to take some crappy photos, and they are on Flickr.

While the duck my friend raced personally (Jumpin' Quack Flash) didn’t do well, another one he raised received second place. Better luck next year, Phil!